The difference of a year

One year ago today my stomach broke and within a month I was diagnosed with gastroparesis. When I think about all I've accomplished this year despite being so ill I know I can do anything. While I would never have asked for this to happen to me and I wish that things were different. I really have done a lot in a year. So if you'll indulge me (it is my blog after all) a short list of things I've accomplished since diagnosis. Some things are clearly bigger then others but really when I think of who and where I was a year ago. I never ever would have imagined myself here.

• Graduated with my masters
• Worked a full time job, a part time internship and grad school at the same time
• watched 5 of my friends get married (including 2 out of state)
• Traveled back to my favorite place on earth for reunion
• Had my Gallbladder removed
• Moved cross country on a whim, a wing and a prayer
• Turned 26
• Lost 30 pounds
• was selected for an interview for my dream job (regardless of the fact they've not made a decision yet more than 3 months later)
• gotten a fish pedicure
• completely revamped my diet to cut added fat, dairy, red meat, soda, caffeine, alcohol etc
• Passed my Masters exam
• Became a licensed LGSW in the state of Maryland
• Visited 2 places I've never been before

Hopefully I be able to add employed and apartmented here soon. But really looking over the last year I am so grateful for a year of life even if its a different life then I imagined. 

Nothing is ever simple

Now I recognize that the following rant is one of those things that really is a "first world" problem or really not even a problem but rather a good problem to have like having too much money or too much fun or too many friends. Not a bad thing in and of itself but has the potential to be frustrating. Though I don't know how too much money is ever frustrating. ANWAYS...

Last week after I mentioned that I was going to hit the road come Oct 6th. That date might have been a bit premature. When I sat down with my parents (with whom I currently live...and have for the last 2 years during school) to talk about this project switch coasts or switch washington's as the case may be. They brought me back down to reality. Namely the pulled out a calculator. We determined that it is significantly cheaper to fly to the couple of main places I want to visit (Austin, Denver/Boulder and Portland) and then rent a car in WA for a few weeks then it would be to drive my car cross country on an epic road trip.

Being home for Thanksgiving is very important to me (more so then Christmas or any other time). So I came up with a plan that I would spend about 10 days traveling by air and eventually landing at my friend K's place in Steliacoom by Nov 1. And then spend basically Nov 1-21 hunting for jobs out there, making sure I actually like out west and that I haven't just spent 2 years putting WA up on a pedestal and then find out its actually horrid and the people are just as bad as the East Coast DC. I'd rent a car for the 3 weeks I'd be out there and hopefully find a job that could start somewhat after Thanksgiving. If I do find a job and I do like it then I rent a pod, pack up my car and drive it cross country at that point. But at least I won't have to dejectedly drive back for Thanksgiving if things don't work out.

Now, that all being said, I decided all this on Wednesday and went to bed for the first time in MONTHS feeling pretty zen and less at loose ends then I have in awhile. So surprise to me, when the phone rings at work on Thursday and its "Giant Reputable Veterans Organization"calling me wondering if I could set up an interview for a manager position of one of their programs for combat stress. [A time out to say that I have been applying for umpteen jobs with this organization and never heard a peep from them. I had applied to this particular position 6 weeks prior to being called.] Why yes I would like this interview Miss HR rep.

So I had the interview for that job on Friday and made it to the second round which will be conducted this Friday by Skype.  (Skype interviews are strange!) The job will either be in NYC or San Diego most likely. I have a clear preference for San Diego as the job seems awesome on paper (task, salary, benefits etc) but I will turn it down if its located in NYC because I know that I will be miserable there. San Diego has a lot of the things I really like about the West Coast

I will admit that there is a part of me that won't be disappointed if I am not offered this job because I am very excited about my plan to move to Washington and begin a new life there. This makes me feel bad though because in this economy I can't afford to keep turning down jobs (6 thus far) and need to accept an offer soon rather than later so that I can begin being a real adult and getting on this journey. But I have recognized over the last few months that happiness is my number one goal right now and that my location is a big part of that.

Like I said, I'm likely just whining for whining sake. And I am going to continue to rock interviews up until plane tickets are booked. But really is nothing ever simple?

Overcoming Inertia

"So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin.” ~ W. Clement Stone

I saw this quote on Twitter (i think) the other day as I was pondering the state of my life and really felt like it was a sign from God or something about my stagnation. As of today it has been 8 weeks since I interviewed for my dream job with the US Army. They're starting this year an Internship for unlicensed social workers and counselors to get the hours needed for supervision as well as the coursework and supervision needed for a substance abuse certification. Its an amazing opportunity and one that I am so grateful to even have been interviewed for as I know that its incredibly competitive. We've been told (through a Facebook page set up by the recruiters) that they will be selecting up to 40 people for 17 different duty locations. However, despite being told it would be a 1-2 week process at my interview (on July 19th) It has now been 8 weeks. With no progress and no sign of progress. One update on the facebook page said that the target start date was October. But then again the target start date in the recruitment email was July and clearly its September and that has not happened.

The interview was one of the stranger ones that I have done. None of the questions were about my qualifications, my resume, my experiences or even social work task based like some of my other interviews. They were all opinion based and in fact there were only 4 questions. The questions were things like how did i feel about working in a military environment, what i thought would be different in military practice then civilian practice, what I thought was the most dangerous drug etc. It was hard to tell how I didn't because I didn't know what they were looking for. If they thought the most dangerous drug is meth and I said alcohol did that knock me out? Who knows! My old boss figures that they know that we're new social workers and they can teach us the substance abuse certification things but they can't teach us to be smart or good thinkers or intuitive so they're looking for more of those things then actual skill based interviewing.

Anyway, in the process of waiting for word on this position I have felt like my life is on hold. My volunteer opportunity which has been the focus of much of my spare time for the last 4 years came to an end as the military hospitals in the DC area transition due to BRAC. I have felt a bit at a loss. This army job could take me to Washington, Georgia, Texas, South Carolina, or keep me here right in DC. I have hesitated to date, make new friends, join clubs etc because I know that at any moment I could be yanked away and loose time or money. In other words I haven't been able to overcome inertia.

But I'm sick of waiting. I am giving the Army until the end of the month to notify me. That will be 10 weeks from interviewing. I know that federal hiring is slow. But 10 weeks is (more) enough. If I don't hear from them by the end of the month I am going to take off on a cross country road trip ending at my friends in Steliacoom, WA where I will continue my job hunt from somewhere new. I haven't been happy in DC for a long time and I don't see that changing. A change of scenery where I can be close to friends from college, my good friend Soldier Boy who just PCS'd there and a different job market seems like a better opportunity then staying here.

I have had 2 interviews for a good job here in DC that would provide the experience I need to get my license however to make this job worthwhile (if offered) I would need to stay for 4.5 years (2 years to get my supervision, 2 years to repay them for paying for the supervision and the 6 month probationary period). The idea of staying in DC for 4.5 more years makes me feel like vomiting. This is when I knew I needed to over come inertia and make my move.

No more putting it off. No more waiting. No more wishing. No more waiting for inertia. Time to push up over the hill. October 6th I hit the road.

Now who has road trip tips?

Bucket Life

In my 2 days being pretty much bed and couch bound (gallbladder disease is fun!) I managed to catch up a bit on the paper. We subscribe to the Washington Post which is generally horribly written and misses the point 99% of the time so generally I only read the Style section and sometimes the Metro section and catch the rest of the news through the NY Times online (thanks Lincoln for my free 1 year subscription). 


Anyhoodle, a letter in Carolyn Hax a couple of days ago spurred something in me. The author  discussed having a bucket life rather than a bucket list. He said "You know, alcoholics and addicts spend an inordinate amount of time sitting on barstools talking about what they are “going to do someday." He challenged readers to "Do something new every year and every year will be a gift of extraordinary value." 


This led me to think of what I would like to do in the next few years to increase the value of my life. 


1. Learn to fiddle. I played the violin pretty well between 8-14 but I hated playing classical music. I'd love to dust the violin off and learn to fiddle. 
2. Learn some sort of martial art. I'm not a violent person by nature but I like the idea of a sport you can practice barefoot and the disipline. I might do something like Krav Maga or Capoeira rather than Karate or Tae Kwon Do. 
3. Learn to cross stitch. I didn't really have much patience for knitting because it took so long to create anything of value. But I love the idea of learning to cross stitch. I may find this is also a problem. 
4. Learn to sew. I mean in theory I know how to sew I took home ec but I would like to learn to sew well enough that if I have kids I can make halloween costumes or fix a hem or sew on a button. 
5. Learn to can. (safely). I have made a number of cake in a jars for my deployed loves but I don't know if that is safe/legal canning. I would love to learn how to create things and can them to be eaten later. Tomato sauce, jams, jellys etc. 


What do you have on your bucket life?