So....its been awhile. I would like to say its because I have been doing amazing and glamorous things. But really its more of the fact that I have been whiney and mopey and otherwise unpleasant to be around and I haven't felt like subjecting the internet world to it.
I will say that my despite my last worry wort post my gallbladder surgery went pretty well all things considered. The recovery was very quick and I never needed anything stronger then Tylenol. It mostly felt like I'd done a sadistic number of crunches. It was slow going walking wise and tough to sit up and lay down for about a week but all an all things weren't bad. The surgery was on Wednesday and my birthday was Saturday and despite the lack of birthday cake I was able to get out of the house and go to a movie (and watch my friend eat a burrito because dinner was not going to happen).
As for the eating/gastroparesis nonsense, it took about a month and then it felt like a switch got flipped. For the most part about 3/4 of the month I feel pretty good. I haven't vastly expanded my diet (mostly because I am afraid of food still after 8 months of hell) but considering prior to getting my GB out I was in pain and nauseous from broth and plain pasta. During my cycle things are decidedly not good but I'm working on fixing that. I was even able to go to the beach for a week in early August and eat out every night (including sneaking some french fries) without implications. Its been pretty nice. I certainly feel like I hate my life a little less dietary wise. Though I will say in this stressful time of un/underemployment I really miss being able to drink. And regularly eat french fries in large quantities.
On the employment front, I have been interviewed for my dream job with the Army. This will get an entry of its own because its so supremely WTF that I want to go into detail. I have also had 9 more interviews and 3 more job offers that I have turned down for one reason or another. I know that I should be incredibly grateful that I have been offered positions and the number of interviews that I have. They just all happened to not be the right job. 2 of them for Veterans service organizations would have been great jobs but the pay was not adequate for the time put into the position and my experience nor would they have gotten me any closer to my career goal. The 3rd offer was for a county position helping families apply for food stamps, wic, medicare etc which again would be a great job but is not eligible for social work supervision because all those programs are eligibility based and therefore needs assessments don't require social work.
I have a 2nd round interview for a job working with persistently mentally ill adults. It was one of the more intense interviews I've gone on That would provide and qualify for supervision and seems to encourage it. The downside being I can't begin to get supervision until I pass the 6 month probationary period and for every month of supervision they pay for you commit to the same number of months. So I would end up with the organization (and therefore DC) for nearly 5 years. Which isn't what I'm shooting for. We shall see I still have one more interview and subsequent background checks and whatnot.
Mostly my life continues to be on pause waiting for the Army job (see next entry). In the mean time one of my former volunteers who runs his own business has taken pity on me and has hired me as a temp. I hate every minute of being a masters educated glorified intern/receptionist. But its money and an excuse to wear grown up clothes 3 days a week.
Anywhere, that's where I'm at. I would hope that I'm not as silent moving forward but I cant make any promises! I am a terrible blogger!
03 September 2011
29 June 2011
Deep Breathing
Today is the day. My surgery is at 2 pm today. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't epiclly nervous. There is a lot riding on this being the answer to my digestive issues. Or at least allowing me to expand my diet.
I would really appreciate an prayers, good thoughts or positive juju you can muster today. Both for a successful surgery and for this being a positive step to being able to eat again. And for the anesthesia not to make me too queasy.
I would really appreciate an prayers, good thoughts or positive juju you can muster today. Both for a successful surgery and for this being a positive step to being able to eat again. And for the anesthesia not to make me too queasy.
22 June 2011
Bucket Life
Anyhoodle, a letter in Carolyn Hax a couple of days ago spurred something in me. The author discussed having a bucket life rather than a bucket list. He said "You know, alcoholics and addicts spend an inordinate amount of time sitting on barstools talking about what they are “going to do someday." He challenged readers to "Do something new every year and every year will be a gift of extraordinary value."
This led me to think of what I would like to do in the next few years to increase the value of my life.
1. Learn to fiddle. I played the violin pretty well between 8-14 but I hated playing classical music. I'd love to dust the violin off and learn to fiddle.
2. Learn some sort of martial art. I'm not a violent person by nature but I like the idea of a sport you can practice barefoot and the disipline. I might do something like Krav Maga or Capoeira rather than Karate or Tae Kwon Do.
3. Learn to cross stitch. I didn't really have much patience for knitting because it took so long to create anything of value. But I love the idea of learning to cross stitch. I may find this is also a problem.
4. Learn to sew. I mean in theory I know how to sew I took home ec but I would like to learn to sew well enough that if I have kids I can make halloween costumes or fix a hem or sew on a button.
5. Learn to can. (safely). I have made a number of cake in a jars for my deployed loves but I don't know if that is safe/legal canning. I would love to learn how to create things and can them to be eaten later. Tomato sauce, jams, jellys etc.
What do you have on your bucket life?
21 June 2011
Under the Knife
Yesterday wasn't a great day in my books.
In order to deal with yesterday's suck we have to back track to Friday. Friday was the memorial service for a friend of mine (and the son of my college advisor and favorite professor). Ted was killed in Hilo, HI by a drunk driver. He was 22. You can read more about Ted's beautiful life here. The memorial service was called Tedfest and really captured everything about him. It included balloons, juggling, clowns, a TON of cheesecake (I made a dairy free one so that I could eat some), a pig roast, and lots of memories.
Anyway, the memorial was up in Pennsylvania where I went to college and on the drive up I got a phone call from my Gastroenterologist. I had a scan for my gallbladder done 2 weeks ago and I had called for the results a week before but nobody would give them to me since I had an appointment in a few weeks. They said if it was urgent they I would have gotten a call. So I was a little confused when I saw them pop on my ID and thought maybe I had written down the appointment wrong and it was a reminder for Monday rather than the following monday. Well it turns out it was the nurse calling with the results of my scan.
The test I had was the HIDA scan. Its a pretty noninvasive test where they put in an IV give you some radioactive tracer and see how long it takes for your gallbladder to absorb the tracer. The worst part of this is that you have to lay on a VERY hard table completely still for about an hour. I tried to doze and not twitch too much. Once you've uptaken all of the tracer the inject you with something called CCK to see how well your gallbladder functions when you eat. Your body produces CCK naturally when you eat food, especially fatty foods, this part of the test has the potential to suck. I took a zofran before the test so other than feeling a little panicy thinking I might feel awful I didn't notice anything. Other people have talked about intense pain and nausea.
Anyways, Normal gallbladder function during this part of the test is between 30-35% depending on the lab and the brand of CCK. My functioning was at 13%. Technically this is called Billary Dyskensia. Ouf. That would explain the pain in my right side that alternates between stabbing and a dull ache. Dyskensias are ineffective movement of the bodys. Basically my bile ducts are not performing correctly and when I eat the gallbladder fills up with Bile like its supposed to but then it can't get out. Thus pain. And potentially, nausea, heartburn and all of my other symptoms.
What does this all mean? My gallbladder has to come out. I meet with a surgeon on Thursday to see when and how that's going to happen. I have been in pretty intense pain and nausea since Friday. So I am hoping that its sooner rather than later because my heating pad and all the anti-nausea meds I have are not working. Last night I resorted to taking way more medication then I probably should have plus some tylenol PM just so I could pass out. So I have a bit of a medication hangover this morning in addition to the pain.
So that's the latest health update!
 |
| Ted and our Friend Sarah in DC in 2005 (they were dating at the time) |
Anyway, the memorial was up in Pennsylvania where I went to college and on the drive up I got a phone call from my Gastroenterologist. I had a scan for my gallbladder done 2 weeks ago and I had called for the results a week before but nobody would give them to me since I had an appointment in a few weeks. They said if it was urgent they I would have gotten a call. So I was a little confused when I saw them pop on my ID and thought maybe I had written down the appointment wrong and it was a reminder for Monday rather than the following monday. Well it turns out it was the nurse calling with the results of my scan.
The test I had was the HIDA scan. Its a pretty noninvasive test where they put in an IV give you some radioactive tracer and see how long it takes for your gallbladder to absorb the tracer. The worst part of this is that you have to lay on a VERY hard table completely still for about an hour. I tried to doze and not twitch too much. Once you've uptaken all of the tracer the inject you with something called CCK to see how well your gallbladder functions when you eat. Your body produces CCK naturally when you eat food, especially fatty foods, this part of the test has the potential to suck. I took a zofran before the test so other than feeling a little panicy thinking I might feel awful I didn't notice anything. Other people have talked about intense pain and nausea.
Anyways, Normal gallbladder function during this part of the test is between 30-35% depending on the lab and the brand of CCK. My functioning was at 13%. Technically this is called Billary Dyskensia. Ouf. That would explain the pain in my right side that alternates between stabbing and a dull ache. Dyskensias are ineffective movement of the bodys. Basically my bile ducts are not performing correctly and when I eat the gallbladder fills up with Bile like its supposed to but then it can't get out. Thus pain. And potentially, nausea, heartburn and all of my other symptoms.
So that's the latest health update!
15 June 2011
Finding a little Bliss?
So I promised an entry on this potential job.
A little background, when I was beginning this job hunt I pretty much had 4 places I didn't particularly want to live:
1. Ft Drum, NY-Its fucking freezing. I read The Day After He left for Iraq a few years ago and she describes snow over her head and that he just sticks and stays around forever. I LOVE snow don't get me wrong. But I want it to go away between storms.
2. Ft. Bliss, TX--Its fucking hot. And next to mexico, the most Dangerous city in Mexico in fact.
3. Ft. Sill, OK--There are tornadoes. I am TERRIFIED of tornadoes.
4. Ft. Polk, LA--the US Army bought the land for this post during Vietnam because it most mimics the climate. Enough Said.
There were a couple of runners up for places I'd least like to live Ft. Riley (ex boyfriend currently stationed there and some poor memories associated with that relationship/town) and Ft. Rucker (I'm just not that into flying contraptions). But in general these were the top 4 places I'd hate to live for 2 plus years.
And of course because Murphy loves to find even not military spouses. The potential Job opportunity is at Ft. Bliss.
Awesome. My number 2 no go location.
Though to give it a fair shake, the ever wonderful Texan, The Army's Doctor's Wife said it best on twitter when she said although she and her Doctor Hubby, C were picking residency locations it was last. That it was a misunderstood city. I have been looking at Ft. Bliss's facebook pages and twitter accounts and posted to the US Military livejournal community asking about it and it sounds like while its nobody's top choice its not as horrible as all the pity looks make it seem.
I also had a nervous breakdown about the fact that its 1900 miles away from my current home. And I would know absolutely nobody there. But after articulating these fears to the best friend and having a little cry about it it. I woke up the next morning knowing I could handle it. And if not she has graciously agreed to let me come live with her and her army hubby wherever they end up. Ha! It also helped that on my trip up to where I went to college I talked to my adviser and mentors and they told me I would be an idiot to turn down a job opportunity because it is far away. Its a great opportunity to grow and stretch as a person. They actually got me to a point where I think I could be excited about moving there.
That being said...the woman has not interviewed me yet. She has promised to interview me last week and the week before and here we are 3 weeks after her first "when are you available to talk" email with no interview. So I am waiting on that. (and if we're being honest, its driving me nuts!)
In the mean time, I have one more person to meet with to get a sanity check form signed and then I can apply to sit for the licensing exam. I already bought some electronic flash cards that I need to put together this weekend so I can start laying out at the pool and studying them. Hey a girl's got to work on her tan and her brain at the same time!
I will be sure to keep ya'll updated as best I can! Keep your fingers crossed I get interviewed sooner rather than later.
A little background, when I was beginning this job hunt I pretty much had 4 places I didn't particularly want to live:
1. Ft Drum, NY-Its fucking freezing. I read The Day After He left for Iraq a few years ago and she describes snow over her head and that he just sticks and stays around forever. I LOVE snow don't get me wrong. But I want it to go away between storms.
2. Ft. Bliss, TX--Its fucking hot. And next to mexico, the most Dangerous city in Mexico in fact.
3. Ft. Sill, OK--There are tornadoes. I am TERRIFIED of tornadoes.
4. Ft. Polk, LA--the US Army bought the land for this post during Vietnam because it most mimics the climate. Enough Said.
There were a couple of runners up for places I'd least like to live Ft. Riley (ex boyfriend currently stationed there and some poor memories associated with that relationship/town) and Ft. Rucker (I'm just not that into flying contraptions). But in general these were the top 4 places I'd hate to live for 2 plus years.
And of course because Murphy loves to find even not military spouses. The potential Job opportunity is at Ft. Bliss.
Awesome. My number 2 no go location.
Though to give it a fair shake, the ever wonderful Texan, The Army's Doctor's Wife said it best on twitter when she said although she and her Doctor Hubby, C were picking residency locations it was last. That it was a misunderstood city. I have been looking at Ft. Bliss's facebook pages and twitter accounts and posted to the US Military livejournal community asking about it and it sounds like while its nobody's top choice its not as horrible as all the pity looks make it seem.
I also had a nervous breakdown about the fact that its 1900 miles away from my current home. And I would know absolutely nobody there. But after articulating these fears to the best friend and having a little cry about it it. I woke up the next morning knowing I could handle it. And if not she has graciously agreed to let me come live with her and her army hubby wherever they end up. Ha! It also helped that on my trip up to where I went to college I talked to my adviser and mentors and they told me I would be an idiot to turn down a job opportunity because it is far away. Its a great opportunity to grow and stretch as a person. They actually got me to a point where I think I could be excited about moving there.
That being said...the woman has not interviewed me yet. She has promised to interview me last week and the week before and here we are 3 weeks after her first "when are you available to talk" email with no interview. So I am waiting on that. (and if we're being honest, its driving me nuts!)
In the mean time, I have one more person to meet with to get a sanity check form signed and then I can apply to sit for the licensing exam. I already bought some electronic flash cards that I need to put together this weekend so I can start laying out at the pool and studying them. Hey a girl's got to work on her tan and her brain at the same time!
I will be sure to keep ya'll updated as best I can! Keep your fingers crossed I get interviewed sooner rather than later.
07 June 2011
Absent
If the first rule of fight club is not to talk about fight club then the first rule of blogging is probably don't talk about what a horrible blogger you are when you haven't written in weeks. Or really a month.
So what have I been up to in my absence?
1. I graduated from graduate school. I am officially an MSW. (and unemployed)
2. My best friend got married to the wonderful love of her life
3. I saw Matt Nathanson in Concert after seeing a tweet about a secret concert he was holding at a venue right in my town.
4. I traveled to reunion weekend at my favorite place on earth.
Hows the job hunt been going?
1. Got offered a job right after my last post with a Veterans Service Organization but turned it down due to a number of reasons not the least of all is that despite saying I couldn't start until June 6. They asked me to start May 5th and asked if I could skip my graduation and leave late for my best friend's wedding in order to attend training out of state. They also wanted me to decide by 4:30 pm the day they offered me the job. It just seemed like a poor situation considering it wouldn't even give me the right experience I needed to get my license anyway.
2. Interviewed for a Bachelor's optional Social Service assistant position at the army hospital I did my internship at. The interview went really well but the man who interviewed me said that while he really really liked me and thought I would be a fantastic asset to the team taking the position would be career suicide and that I am supremely employable in my desired field as long as I'm willing to move. He also emailed a plea to other supervisory social workers for Warrior Transition units which led too....
3...a potential job offer, I am waiting to interview, but I am sure the job will be mine for the taking once we talk. It is however, not in my ideal location. I will post about this tomorrow because it deserves its own entry.
4. I also made the highly qualified list for the Substance Abuse internship program the Army is offering but I haven't been interviewed. I am not confident I will be interviewed because I heard about it the Friday before memorial day and the program starts in early July so I imagine they'd already started interviewing. I would love to be interviewed but I am not a veteran or a military spouse so I'm doubting its a go.
So thats about all to catch you up on thats happened over the last month (at least the things of significance)
Whats coming up?
-Trip to where I went to college to see some friends and old professors on Wednesday
-Mumford and Sons in Concert on Thursday
-Possibly a trip to NC (to get a shooting lesson) or an Indigo Girls concert this weekend
So what have I been up to in my absence?
1. I graduated from graduate school. I am officially an MSW. (and unemployed)
2. My best friend got married to the wonderful love of her life
3. I saw Matt Nathanson in Concert after seeing a tweet about a secret concert he was holding at a venue right in my town.
4. I traveled to reunion weekend at my favorite place on earth.
Hows the job hunt been going?
1. Got offered a job right after my last post with a Veterans Service Organization but turned it down due to a number of reasons not the least of all is that despite saying I couldn't start until June 6. They asked me to start May 5th and asked if I could skip my graduation and leave late for my best friend's wedding in order to attend training out of state. They also wanted me to decide by 4:30 pm the day they offered me the job. It just seemed like a poor situation considering it wouldn't even give me the right experience I needed to get my license anyway.
2. Interviewed for a Bachelor's optional Social Service assistant position at the army hospital I did my internship at. The interview went really well but the man who interviewed me said that while he really really liked me and thought I would be a fantastic asset to the team taking the position would be career suicide and that I am supremely employable in my desired field as long as I'm willing to move. He also emailed a plea to other supervisory social workers for Warrior Transition units which led too....
3...a potential job offer, I am waiting to interview, but I am sure the job will be mine for the taking once we talk. It is however, not in my ideal location. I will post about this tomorrow because it deserves its own entry.
4. I also made the highly qualified list for the Substance Abuse internship program the Army is offering but I haven't been interviewed. I am not confident I will be interviewed because I heard about it the Friday before memorial day and the program starts in early July so I imagine they'd already started interviewing. I would love to be interviewed but I am not a veteran or a military spouse so I'm doubting its a go.
So thats about all to catch you up on thats happened over the last month (at least the things of significance)
Whats coming up?
-Trip to where I went to college to see some friends and old professors on Wednesday
-Mumford and Sons in Concert on Thursday
-Possibly a trip to NC (to get a shooting lesson) or an Indigo Girls concert this weekend
02 May 2011
Support the Troops
Last night, like most people, I sat up in rapt attention last night listening to the speech/announcement and of course, being a 20 something, posting on facebook about it. My final post for the night was, after finding out that it was a human operation rather than drone, was "I hope that Seal team got at least a near beer for this. God Bless our Troops". I woke up this morning to a message from a friend in college that shocked me. Granted, I was a bit of a hippie in college, heck I still am! But this message was a surprise to say the least
No actually, I think thats what you said. And not to sound like the "right wing Christian" he said I sound like (I happen to be a left to center Jew) but "If you don't stand behind the troops, feel free to stand in front of them".
I am proud of our men and women in uniform. I am proud of Seal team 6. I am conflicted about Osama's death. But I think, overall, the world is probably a little brighter without him in it.
Your post about god and the troops is very disturbing to me. And i have to express my deepest horror at it.Okay. Wow. Also to note, of my last 50 facebook updates only i think 15 had anything to do with the military. To be honest. I found his message mostly absurd. I wasn't even going to respond to it, but I felt like I had to at least show him where I come from. This was my response
u think god has something to do w this glamorous war pursuit that killed hundreds of thousands of innocent lives and is not over now that this ONE man is dead? how many will your beloved troops murder in pursuit of what... tell me what the hell all these american, iraqi, Afghani, pakistani lives have to be lost. This is an insult to this country, to god, and to the majority of other people and religions who call this planet home.
not sure ur the same sarah i knew in college - the one that believed in peace - but looks like u should read some real books again and not the government war propaganda at your job.
i'm truly disgusted by your posts of late and this one is the last straw.
4452 killed. 40k plus wounded. 3 quadruple amputees--Todd, Brendan and John. Thousands of triple, douple and single amputees. More than 300k with Traumatic Brain Injury, PTSD and other mental illness. More than 50 suicides per month. I know all the stats, I live the stats every day.He responded a little while later backpedaling. I wont quote his entire response because he goes off on a tangent about how God would never be on our side because we commit war crimes. But I will say the first line of his message was "I don't want you to think that I think you are a bad person for working w Vets - it's a wonderful thing that you do."
I am the exact same person I was in in college except I am not so naive to the fact that I can stick my head in the sand and protest and pretend I'm making an impact. Now I AM making an impact. I am a social worker to troops that we--the military, the american public, the idiots who sent overseas--broke. Some beyond repair
I deal with young men, younger than us, who while we were partying in east were deployed 2, 3, 4 times to austere places to do work that they didn't necessarily believe in. And I only deal with the ones who come home "safe".
Yes, I do think that God has something to do with this Wars, I think that he has given us free will and that sometimes we disappoint him by starting wars, dropping bombs and doing things that aren't nice to our neighbors (literal and figurative). But I don't believe he abandons us when we're in places that are unsafe. I do think he blesses our troops, just as he blesses the civilians and the other side. But he gave us free domain and sometimes we really screw it up.
I am sorry that you are disgusted by my posts and feel that I am only reading propaganda. I welcome you next time you're home to come down to [Army Hospital] and meet some of the brave and broken souls I work with.
It might change the way your pacifism looks just like it changed me.
No actually, I think thats what you said. And not to sound like the "right wing Christian" he said I sound like (I happen to be a left to center Jew) but "If you don't stand behind the troops, feel free to stand in front of them".
I am proud of our men and women in uniform. I am proud of Seal team 6. I am conflicted about Osama's death. But I think, overall, the world is probably a little brighter without him in it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)